Born Bad….

I hate to admit it, but I always held a small bit of sympathy for criminals. I’d look at their sad convincing faces as a Judge would read out the guilty verdict. A lot of the time, the criminal was adamant he was innocent and I would think, Was he? I was sucked in quite easily by the cries and pleas and even their blatant denial. His life was now gone as he had to be locked up for a lot of years, not to mention the devastation of the families at the hand of his abuse.
 I would have probably found him not guilty so I would make a useless judge.
I would believe his pain. Surely someone that convincing of his own sorrow and innocence couldn’t kill his loved one? (Example Pistoris) Had there been no evidence, he would have surely been released.
I’d have compassion for the obvious bad start in life that formed his personality.
 I felt there was a bigger picture that formed these people who could hurt others.
 Dysfunctional parents, alcoholism, drugs, poverty, disability and abuse were all good reasons for this person to  fuck up their life. (Taking into account, lots of us came from disfunction but manage to live life honest and within the law.)
You can allocate some portion of blame to the parents when the children are dependants but as children go out into the world, what they haven’t learned at home, they normally pick up very quickly from friends and co-workers. (Unacceptable behaviour)
You could also argue if there was more family intervention in the home when these criminals were children, more learning support and education, they would be less likely to follow their parents destructive behaviour when they became adults themselves.
Or another theory, is it merely the fact that some children are so spoiled and are so used to taking from others, that they have never been taught to give back? They think that everything is there for their taking….
The problem expands for these criminals when they take others with them on their road of destruction. This of course is how they inevitably get caught. It’s all very well being a ticking time bomb by themselves but when they involve another, they are now jeopardizing their secret. The secret that is their horrible personality of selfishness and greed and resentment and controlling behaviour.
And suddenly they grow a fear that their secret will be exposed to all. Now they are capable of doing anything to protect that secret which is usually at a personal cost to others.
This is where they now become almost believable in their denial. They don’t flinch. They become angry, sad at the crime exposed to them, “I did this, but it wasn’t my fault. I didn’t know she was in there. I thought it was a burglar!”
But how can we tell for sure what the truth is? He looks like he’s telling the truth. He’s so sure it was an accident. He almost convinces you. Almost, but not quite. Because it just doesn’t make sense what he’s saying. The logical Maths do not add up.
The onus of responsibility is on the police to find plenty of evidence and then match it up to the culprit. I can see how difficult that could be and of course, there are some people that are really innocent.
It must be as hard for a police man to watch some one go down for a crime that he didn’t commit, but was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
So, have I turned cheeks? Am I now starting to see through these criminals lies?
 That sometimes, they are just born with self pity in their bones?
And is my empathy now to the proper victims, the families?
Yes.
I do believe that forgiveness sets a person free. Holding anger will only destroy.
But now I know in my 49 years of life, that bad things happen to good people all of the time. And because the bad people only feel sorrow for themselves, they will never feel another’s pain. This sets them apart from us ‘normal’ people, because our conscience would never allow to willingly hurt another.
And if Pistoris could stand up in court and lie to a Judge with his beautiful blue eyes filling with tears, crying, that he didn’t know that the beautiful Rena was in the toilet as he ploughed the door with bullets. Shame on you Pistoris. The least you can do is accept your responsibility.
Give the family some relief. They won’t forgive you, but they will respect your honesty for allowing them to be right. They know you murdered their daughter. You need to give them that affirmation.
Jean xxx

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