Who am I?

You can pretty much tell that I’m a writer now, because I certainly have the appearance.
Gone are the designer hand bags, the professional make up and indeed the gel nails. Now, I rise in the morning, I hurriedly tidy the house, prepare a stew for later, feed my dogs, get Yasmin organised for the horse yard, wash myself, throw on old clothes that will suffice, walking dogs, mucking out horses, cleaning the house and heading to the library to write. I can hardly keep changing clothes throughout the day as that would give me less time!
I find I can concentrate better in the library although this morning I can hear a toddler downstairs battling with his father….
Anyway, I have the privilege of being a stay at home Mam these last three years, firstly, because of my little breakdown which forced me out of the workplace and secondly, because my husband works hard to provide for us both and our kids.
But an independent person all of my life, I was concerned about not being able to help out finically at home. Like any family with kids in school and college and expensive hobbies, our out goings are very high.
In the early days of the recession, I tried investing a few euros each week on the lotto. I followed all the guidelines on how to win, following numbers, counting how many times they appeared. I did that for a year and I never won anything. I really could hear God’s voice in my ear saying, ‘You’re not going to win money! You have a talent, you just need to find it!’
 Thankfully, I don’t like wasting money on gambling, so I bowed out gracefully. So, what was my talent? Throughout my working life, I had worked very hard, but I only earned enough to get by. So, I felt I was a failure.
Over the years, I had been writing things down that caught my attention onto pieces of paper or in my diary. I would place them into my bedside locker until one day I knew what to do with them.
 During the time of my breakdown, I took a lot of walks in our beautiful Irish lands with my three dogs. I would ask God to guide me on my path in life, to help me find a way.
 I did feel God’s guidance and I felt it was pointing me in the direction of writing.  I knew then that I should at least try.
I always loved reading but thought I could never write the way these authors wrote a story.
But I started anyway and it turned out I wrote a book about my life ‘My beautiful Flower’. It’s a self discovery book but to keep a reader interested, it had to have a point. I did have to publish it myself but I’m quite proud of the way it turned out. I discovered a lot about acceptance and gratitude and I shared it in my book.
Once I had written that book, I was on to a next, a children’s story book called ‘Madhead the Crazy Horse’ which is already in the editing stage.
And this morning I am finishing my very own crime/fiction book called ‘Shame so Deep’.
I am feeling very positive about this path I’m on. I’m working very hard at blogging, tweeting and promoting myself on social networks while writing my crime story.
Am I looking for success? Yes I am. But I’m prepared to work very hard for that success. I know success doesn’t land in your lap. If you work very hard on something and you really believe in it, there’s a very good chance you will at least do well from it. If I fail, or if a book doesn’t get the recognition I think it deserves, well, I’m going to see where I can improve myself and keep at it.
So yes, I don’t look fashionable this morning. And I may look tired and baggy eyed but you know the old saying, ‘Never judge a book by it’s cover!’  Because on the inside of my mind, I’m ok!
I’m an author!

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