Mother of the groom

When my oldest child 25, and only son announced that he and his beautiful girlfriend were to get married in a year, I was delighted. Every Mother’s dream is to have a wedding in the family. A time for you to show off your beautiful child, now a man, to all your family and friends. A chance to welcome  your future daughter in law into our vast network of people. She will now be part of this huge group of aunts, uncles and cousins. She will be the first grand daughter in law to the proud granny, still young enough to see her first grandson walk down the isle into his new life as a husband.
It’s a wonderful affair by all accounts. Everybody loves to see a young couple so in love make a commitment to share their life together. Their dreams, their wishes and hopes of a life that is just for each other, oblivious to the challenges that lie ahead for them as a couple, but for now, just simple bliss.
The first job as a pending Mother in law is to stand back. Wait to be invited into any help needed or instruction. To be fair, I have enough planning of my own in preparation for ‘The Wedding’. My house needs a good overhaul and I have less than a year to do it.
There’s the outfits for myself and my two girls to plan which of course will be a very enjoyable occasion for us girls as we like any other ladies like to shop for a special event. Granny will be included, all my sisters will be included, the nieces will be included and the girl friends will be included.
I have also suggested that The Mother of the Bride come along. I think it’s a good idea that we know what each of us are wearing. I want to wear something really nice but I obviously don’t want to stand out in the wrong way.  I think this is where a stylish hat can come in. It can make a statement, but in the right way.
 We are all really excited about this and are planning a night in The Westin Hotel Dublin on one Friday evening so that we can enjoy the day shopping for our ‘guna nua’ and possibly a venture into the Philip Treacy department!
I will also be planning the traditional pre wedding night in the house for the neighbours’, which will include lots of food, drink and laughter. I will officially introduce my future daughter in law and her family to our lot. This will have to be planned really well,  as I don’t want to overlap with the many things the Mother of the Bride and indeed the Bride and Groom have to do in the run up to the wedding.
So all that’s left is ‘The List’. Now, anyone who knows me will know that I like to include everyone I know in all my events. I like people, so it’s easy for me to chat and mix. My Dad was very social also. He loved nothing better than a big gathering. My husband is not as easy with social gatherings and neither is our son. He’s a quiet lad. Quite odd. He’s afraid that he’ll have to socialize at his wedding and talk to the masses that I hope to invite. To be fair, we have a big lot on our side that my son wants me to quarter!
 But, (And here’s my but, you knew it was coming!) there’s an etiquette to a wedding that young people today think can be eliminated. Us parents have a loyalty to our friends and family. We have built up business relationships that can’t be ignored at our very first special social occasion. There are certain people we have to and want to share in our only son’s special day. This is what I’m most worried about at the moment.
Of course, I don’t want to worry the young couple. I want to reassure them that as their parents, we will help them through the most important social gathering of their lives. We will look after their guests. We will take care of any issue on the day.
We will shine as their parents. This is what we’ve been waiting for.
A chance to show ‘A job well done!’

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