I’m struggling

Sometimes I find my life very difficult. And I’m not thinking of ending it or anything, I’m in a much healthier mental place than before I wrote my book ‘My Beautiful flower’.  I practice my gratitude and positivity each morning which really helps. But I am around people who are surrounded with negativity and resentment and it drags me down. I think I’m handling it fairly well. I know there is little I can do to get them to release their minds from negativity and resentments, if they don’t want to let go, face the problems they are encountering because of their negativity, but it pains me.
I realized over the past couple of years how negativity can really hold you back. Ok, being positive that you are going to win the lotto is not going to make you win, but being positive that you can be better, your life can be better, you can improve your circumstances, will boost your morale.
 And that really works.
I certainly believe God gives us the path we need. To find the way through the maze that will make us better people, to work on each area of our imperfect personality before we are ready to go to Heaven.
 I take a long time completing jigsaws. I don’t cheat, I don’t easily find the missing pieces or indeed the way out of the maze. And as I’m writing this, I realize that this is my challenge.
And I have to keep on going. And I have to keep on trying.
I can see the fruits of my hard work on my two beautiful girls. I’m proud of my parenting skills on these two. That’s when I realized that God’s angels were guiding me, helping me.
 That’s when I opened my eyes and saw.
I know I failed my older child. I was always too busy then to bond.
 I live with that loss every day.

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